Thursday, February 05, 2009

Bailout for Organized Crime - Let's Make Tobacco Illegal

One of the significant sectors of the United States economy - organized crime trafficking in prohibited items - probably needs government bailout help as well.

Here's what I propose:

Make tobacco illegal and declare a War on Drugs Including Tobacco.

I'm sure organized crime is hoping that tobacco is made illegal. Remember the famous scene in the move "Key Largo" where the organized crime thugs bemoan the end of alcohol prohibition and the economic "hit" they took to their pocketbooks. Well it's about time this country did something to make up for that. Poor, poor organized crime criminals. What a travesty they lost those great and lucrative illegal booze markets.

I'm sure organized crime is looking for new territories and markets and they just love prohibition of all forms. It's good for their business!

Also, prohibiting tobacco will be good for law enforcement officers, including prosecutors, probation officers, companies that provide services to probation departments, companies that build jails, prison guard unions and towns that depend on the local prison to support their existence. It will provide more inmates and probationers! What a stimulus for the economy.

Let's take this farther - BAN LARD NOW! This also will achieve full employment for organized crime and jail guards and help save the children. What a great idea.

(Warning - this is satire to me and most of my friends - unfortunately it will provoke stimulating discussion and new laws by the authoritarian elites who know better than me how I should lead my life.)


Patriot Paul said...

Legislation is being introduced in Congress to pass a .60 tax increase @ pack, which would raise it to a full $1.00 Federal Tax on Cigs. Why? Because they claim it's needed for the Stimulus package. It is therefore important we get as many people as possible to smoke to save the economy, and the Surgeon General needs to amend his warning to "Smoke often. Uncle Sam needs You" and "kill your neighbor as yourself". Gives no meaning to a death tax while saving the world.

Phil Marx said...

I live in a very active drug neighborhood in Fort Wayne. From my experience here, I can say that the biggest beneficiaries of drug prohibition laws are indeed the criminals.

Some people think we are helping addicts by keeping the drugs away from them, but this is absolutely false. I am fairly cofident that a determined person can esily find drugs in just about any American city. The only ones who are stopped from doing so either end up in prison or end up being shot because our laws have forced them to deal with dangerous criminal gangs.

The War on Drugs is a failed initiative which spends trillions of dollars and does little to actually further it's stated goals. That is my argument for ending drug prohibition.

On the other hand, the guys I have observed don't seem to save much of their illicitly earned cash, which means they are quickly spending it. Therefore, the strongest argument I can make for expanding the prohibition laws to cover tobacco is that this would be very beneficial to stimulating the SUV, fast food and gun/ammunition markets.